Yes, You May be Afraid of Actually Losing the Weight
If you’ve ever tried to lose a significant amount of weight, then you know what kind of battle it can be. After just a few days of eating better and exercising, the body is tired, the brain is exhausted, and those thoughts of quitting are starting to sneak their way in. To make it easier on yourself, and to not fall to the shame of defeat that creeps in, you promise yourself that you’ll start again tomorrow. After all, the few days of doing well has earned you a break.
So, you take it, all the while resting on the comfort of “someday”. You will reach your goal, someday. The time to push through will come, someday.
Just not today.
Have you ever thought about what’s really going through your mind? Why not push through, get past that feeling of being uncomfortable, and just lose the weight? Why do you need a break? If it’s a break from the stress of eating less and exercising – feeling the discomfort that comes with real change – then what is it you are really avoiding?
There is an illusion that comes with significant weight loss. Before you begin the journey, you assume that you’ll be the same person, with the same thoughts, the same dreams, the same motives, just with a different, better body when you’ve finally lost the weight. You realize something pretty early on in the journey that your way of thinking is the first thing to be challenged. It soon becomes evident that to get past that “wall” will mean changing the way you think.
It will mean letting go of limiting beliefs. It will mean ignoring your brain for a while and listening instead to your heart. It will mean living from a different story.
That’s the scary part.
You see, to lose weight is to live from a different story. You will not be the same person when all of the weight is gone. You will look different to yourself…and to others. You will be different.
With that can come all sorts of strange fears. The person we will become is unknown and full of what if’s.
So, here are four common fears that are hiding beneath the thought of losing all of the weight.
1. The fear of not living up to the person you become
What if you gained the weight back? What if you fail? What if you can’t live up to the expectations you feel now from others?
2. The fear of getting more positive attention from others
If you lose a lot of weight, people will notice. Are you ready to handle the new level attention you might get? Does it scare you to think that more people will pay attention to you? You may have been told you’re beautiful on the inside, but what if people think you are beautiful on the outside?
3. The fear of making others feel inadequate
This is really fueled by the feeling that you don’t deserve it. What If you lose all of the weight and others around you who need to, haven’t? How will they feel? What if you get more attention now than people who were never overweight at all?
4. The fear that losing weight won’t make you happy
What if you lose the weight and it’s not everything you hoped it would be? What if you’re still unhappy? What if it wasn’t what you were really after? What if you did all that work and you still fill empty? What if you keep sabotaging your weight loss efforts because you know if you lose the weight you won’t be able to attach your unhappiness to it?
Before you start to dwell on these and let them pull you down, remember something. The overweight version of you is not the real you. The extra weight is a symptom of a belief system. That belief system is not one built on truth. It’s built on the story you’ve told yourself about life, love, and pain. It’s a belief system ruled by fears and comfort zones.
Part of the reason it’s so hard in the beginning is because you have to grow out of that old, scared way of thinking into a healthy way of thinking. That’s really what you’re butting up against. These fears of losing weight are founded on the idea that you will be the same person when the weight is gone that you are now.
Ultimately, those fears exist in the void where self-love should be. You’re afraid of losing weight because you don’t love yourself – deeply, truly love yourself. All of those fears are present because you stopped loving yourself. The more love that is present in your life, the less fear will be there.
So, if you want to lose weight, but keep quitting and starting over, you may be falling prey to the fear of actually succeeding. Push through anyway. A lot more is going to happen along this journey. If you will embrace the process, let yourself grow out of the shell you’re in, and let go of your old story, you’ll find that those fears were not near as big as they appeared. Even if they come true, they aren’t as devastating as they appeared, either. In fact, you’ll find they were quite small and harmless. The real fear was change.
Push past, lose the weight, and, aside from conquering your fears, you might make an amazing discovery. You may find the person you’ve always wanted to be on the other side.
You may find the real you.
For real this time.
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